What do you do when a loved one has failed you, your health has failed you, life has failed you, or you have failed at life?
Run away from it, act like it hasn’t fazed you and live in fear – that’s what I did.
Since childhood, I was plagued with sickness and chronic pain, enduring two cancer-scare surgeries by my early twenties. Life was burdensome and pointless.
In my early twenties, the shame of being cheated on drove me to move hundreds of miles away from my hometown. All of our mutual friends had known, but none of them had the decency to tell me.
I had no desire to live, but I was good at pretending. I attended college part-time with no intention to finish just so I could say I was getting an education, had a corporate job I secretly loathed, drove a sports car that I struggled to pay as the creditor inundated my phone for their money or their car…
It was all part of my great cover-up; a means to an end for what I truly desired – someone who would love me and make all my dreams come true. He would be the answer to all my life’s issues.
But deep down I feared I would never get married.
And at 24, I had an encounter with God. As I began desperately seeking Him for healing in multiple areas of my life – physically, mentally, and emotionally – my life began to transform radically.
The great cover-up: I left it all behind to be planted in His house. The sickness and chronic pain: gone. I have lived pain free without medication for 10+ years.
I found God had been speaking to me all along, even when I wasn’t following Him.
I also began to trust Him in the area of my most raging desire – love. Today although still single in my thirties with no prospects in sight the heartache and loneliness has been replaced with His perfect peace as I wait on the one to marry.
In 2017, I wrote my first book. One Proposal: a 60-Day Devotional While Waiting on the One to Marry. Throughout the book it is my hope that single readers gain a newfound perspective on this season of life, and as they trust God, they too can go from hopeless to hopeful, from desperation to peace.