It is rather strange.
I am just a few days into my 40’s and yet I feel as though something has shifted, something has changed – not yet seen but unseen.
The night before the big one, I was asking God about where the time had gone…it felt as though just yesterday I was 27.
And truthfully, I wanted the day to come and go without much fanfare because I didn’t want anyone probing to find out my age. Up until recently, I had mastered the art of concealing it from anyone who wasn’t family or close friends. The greater part of my life I was always more concerned about what people thought, and especially now I wondered what they would say and what would they think when they knew I was 40 and still unwed and childless.
In the early morning hours of my birthday, God showed up and whispered ‘the old has passed, the new has come’ gently into my heart.
He knew exactly what I needed to hear. I could not have faced, nor would I have wanted to face this new chapter without Him.
I then began considering the significance of the number 40 in scriptures: the Israelites wandered in the wilderness for 40 years and Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness for 40 days.
In my own way, I could relate to being in the wilderness for the past 40 years. It was a combination of disobedience and wandering aimlessly the first 24 years and the remainder of those years had been developing a posture of obedience to Jesus Christ by the Holy Spirit.
In the hours and days since turning 40, God has continued to remind me of all the old that has passed away in my life and in my person: afraid and full of fear, shy, skinny, sick, feeling inadequate and inferior, lost and confused.
And He reminded me of the new creation I have and continue to become: healthy, bold, confident, unashamed, wise, full of faith and peace.
It was also a reminder that as I continue in the days ahead, I have to continually shed the old and replace it with the new and it all starts with me. And that got me excited.
This birthday turned out to be exciting because of God’s goodness in my life and His speaking against all the wisdom of the world. I am excited for this new season!
It was also a new beginning, just recently I had been feeling like I was still a young child but now I feel as though I am no longer a child, now I am an adult. And with it comes adult responsibilities and being entrusted with more.
It is no coincidence that it is now spring, so many things are finally springing forth in my life and in this season. Today I am living my life differently, I am thinking differently because when I was a child, I thought as a child. Today I am no longer that child.